At the expense of sounding completely superficial, I’m just going to say it: Getting gifts can be a pretty great feeling. To be fair, gift-giving isn’t just a hollow materialistic tradition but also an instantly recognizable symbol marking life’s many wondrous occasions. If you receive a gift, you did something to deserve that shit. Like get promoted, graduate or be born.
As someone privileged to have been born mid-year, I sympathize with Christmas-celebrating, gift-appreciating people born smack dab in December—a month known for the birth of Christ, Capricorn szn and, most importantly (to those living in a material world), the annual panic buying of gifts. That being said, here’s a general road map that will guide my fellow mid-year babies in giving the perfect present that will make their December birthday (Decembirthed?) friends feel appropriately loved and adequately appreciated.
…just remember to think big, literally
Supersize their supplies
A couple of sticker packs? Sounds like a basic mid-year birthday gift Christmas babies will lowkey resent you for. But a set of palm-sized laptop decals? That’s more like it. This general rule applies to a lot of practical school supplies so just remember to think big, literally. Even with things like markers or notebooks, just size up and get them a set.
My biggest recommendation for this tip would be a mood board. No, not the 6-inch one you cheap fuck. At least 12. It’s their birthday too, after all.
But if you want to make them cry, best to make it 24. Oh wait, they’re an okay friend but there was this one time they made a dick move and never got around to resolving it so now it lowkey hangs over your friendship? Ok, back to 12. A 12-inch board is still pretty sweet (but like, not too sweet because you don’t want them to think you forgave them already.)
Give them (discounted) experiences
A lot of activities have a discount tag attached to them. Thankfully, it’s not easy to track which ones, so most recipients will be none the wiser. An affordable trip or outdoor activity partnered with sentimental words and a tight-lipped smile is a safe bet in impressing Decembabies (bear with me, I’m running out of euphemisms.) Get your friends tickets to spas, water parks, cat cafes and a bunch of other fun activities that won’t break your wallet or your friendship.
‘Sof, here’s free tickets to a water park. I hear the man-made falls are strong enough to cleanse your filthy, soot-colored soul.’ Absolutely touching.
Get out there and spoil them, mid-year kids.
Make them something
Unless your friend has the heart of a shriveled-up raisin, hand-made gifts instantly evoke sentimentality. Capitalize on their vulnerable emotions and your artistic skills. Bake them a clay keychain, make them a dream weaver, illustrate a custom poster for them, etc. Your only limitation is your talent for being crafty and willingness to devote a bit of time.
Of course, this tip is reserved for your more special Decembros. Because really, would you make a tier 2 MWF class break buddy a custom glass shaving of your face? Nah. Those guys get the 6-inch mood boards.
No more excuses. Get out there and spoil them, mid-year kids. Oh, and have a happy Christmas and merry birthday, Decemboos. You’re welcome.
Art by Cathy Dizon
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