’Tis the season of joy, cheer, and if you feel like coughing out an evil laugh, unadulterated villainy. Christmas films taught us that not all are the holly, jolly folks that main characters show themselves off to be during the holidays. So, the next best thing for us to relate to? Villains, of course.
Whether it’s a childhood classic or the big bad of new Christmas tales, there’s a villain fit for any holiday persona. Find out yours below.
At an IRL Christmas party, where would you usually be?
All good mustache-twirling villains have a motive guiding their evil ways. What’s yours?
Wait, who (or what) exactly is your archenemy?
Pick an infamous Disney villain line that reflects your soul.
It’s time for your climactic tell-all to the “protagonist.” How do you plan to stop Christmas?
QUIZ: Which Christmas movie villain is your holiday alter ego?
Ebenezer Scrooge
You, dear person, are a classic. You gravitate towards Mr. Scrooge quicker than you can caption a photo of him with “mood.” Christmas isn’t always your thing, as you’d rather wallow in the quieter moments of life when your dark, dark past doesn’t haunt you.
The Wet Bandits from “Home Alone”
For you, gifts are the shining beacon in the otherwise boring holidays. As a villain, you have only one goal in mind. And you’d probably get away with it, too, if only meddling people stop foiling your plans.
Hans Gruber from “Die Hard”
We gotta bow down to you. When folks think of “villains,” your name echoes in the room as they quake in fear. You’ve aced Criminal Mastermind 101 to a T, and you likely have a grand plot to stop Christmas—alongside a side plan to convince people your movie belongs in the holidays, too.
“Love, Actually”
Congrats, you’re the movie “Love, Actually”! Contrary to popular belief, you kinda like Christmas. Why are you here, you ask? Your subtle ways make for evil potential. (That, and the film has its share of questionable characters that are pretty villainous, IMO.)
Lady Fiona Pembroke from “The Princess Switch” cinematic universe
You live by the words “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” like a mantra you say at five in the morning, before a routine that would make even influencers cry. You get things done with no remorse (but a redemption arc wouldn’t hurt, too).
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Art by Yel Sayo