8 fonts that make us feel a certain way

An unknown philosopher once said, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” Another philosopher said, “one font is worth a thousand war flashbacks.” That second philosopher is me.

Sure, words themselves evoke feelings but revamping their appearance can instantly change a whole ass mood. Shifting from a Comic Sans “STOP!” to a Chiller “STOP!” is a 180-degree moment. If not, maybe you’re just a little numb (or desensitized to Times New Roman’s predominance.) 

Picking fonts is one of our golden Choices™, but sometimes the world does it for us. Here’s a one-page history book of the moments when our reality shaped fonts, and fonts shaped our reality.

Comic Sans

• Ah, childhood. Keywords: Pre-existential crisis and insomnia.
• Go-to when having the lyrics of Jordin Sparks’ “No Air” printed at your nearby computer shop. Purple font, size 14, double-spaced.
• A PowerPoint presentation staple before campy transitions retired.
• But could Comic Sans be the answer to easier retention? If yes, I don’t mind its comeback. After all, I’ve been using it ironically. (Or not.)

Broken 15

• Your_Guardian_Angel_byredjumpsuitapparatus.mp3
• *sweeps off abundant bangs*
• “Hey, I can edit your photo!” but in 2009
• Your emo classmate’s Friendster profile.

Curlz MT

• Is this… cheese powder in my hands? Was this ever used in 2000s junk food packaging or am I dreaming?
• In another life, this could’ve been The Burn Book’s font.
• If ?  were a font.
• My Bratz dolls’ conversations probably looked like this.

Baskerville

• Sorry, you have failed your Math test.
• Or sorry, you have potentially failed your Math class and we’re giving you a chance at removals. (We’re not sorry.)
• Or an ebook you can’t download illegally.
• Or an academic journal you can’t unlock.

Times New Roman

• Fonts you can smell (by that, I mean, your high school’s old brochure. And yearbook.)
• THIS WAY TO [insert tangible location here].
• Dark coffee, sleepiness, and 2 am. A blank MS Word document.
• Pay your respects to the canon of all fonts.

 

Chiller

• Budget Halloween party poster you’re ashamed to admit that you like.
• Pitch: “Among Us” but using this font.
• “My favorite colors are red and black.”
• Sounds like B-Movie voiceovers that’ll choke on their own in the 20th minute.

Courier New

• Yes, I am a Scriptwriter™
• The retreat letter of your friend who has bad penmanship.
• The cousin of Typewriter the font, a cottagecore essential.
• [mystery skit voice] when the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog…

Arial

• Google Doc’s favorite child.
• “Ugh, her presentation has no personality.”
• Times New Roman’s insecure twin.
• Your Boomer Tita’s Facebook bakery logo.

Art by Yel Sayo