So a certain grandson of a dictator happened to love Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Unironically, because that’s how he rolls.
(Right? Right? This is just too easy sometimes.)
Everyone’s piling on him for unironically loving a movie about an evil empire terrorizing good citizens and said good citizens fighting back, but hey, maybe this is a good thing for all of us. Maybe this means we could actually get through somehow, so out of the goodness of our hearts we’re offering Sandro a list of five contemporary movies that are just like Rogue One to watch over the holidays in the hope that he’d finally get it.
But if not, at least it could end up being extra material for us to laugh at.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, both parts
We bet Sandro’s a huge Harry Potter fan, since a lot of us in this generation are. And we bet he thought this was incredible, too. Christmas is a good time as ever to marathon the entire last chapter, yo, because who doesn’t like watching Voldemort and his crew get blown the fuck up? (And if you’ve got more time, start from Order of the Phoenix for the full impact.)
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
This Planet of the Apes franchise reboot is actually perfect for him, because it also involves a downright despicable and villainous-looking young man as one of the human antagonists that makes the oppressed monkeys, a race coming into sentience treated inhumanely because they’re… not actually human, mad. (His name rhymes with Shmom Shmelton, but does this setup sound familiar?)
V for Vendetta (2011)
If Sandro isn’t already aware of what the current administration’s incessant War on Drugs may do to us one day if we ever leave it unchecked, V for Vendetta is the perfect place to start.
Snowpiercer (2013)
Sandro seems like the kind of guy who likes trains and winter and snow since his family’s got all that money to travel abroad with. How about a story of rich people withholding decent food from angry poor people on a winter train?
Les Miserables (2012)
Come on. This is a no-brainer (so it’s perfect for him).
BONUS: Return of the Jedi (1983)
Oh, you know we just had to throw one in there! If Sandro really loved Rogue One, then wait ’til he sees Return of the Jedi (because he doesn’t seem like the type to have seen the original trilogy). But if he has actually seen the original trilogy, then hey, now’s a really great time to watch this again!
What other movies do you think Sandro should watch over the holidays? Hit us up on social media and use the hashtag #MoviesForSandro, and we’ll forward all of them to him on Twitter. One by one.